Yes and Winning

I have a (sorta bad) habit of saying ‘Yes’ without giving it (whatever it is) much thought.

And because I stand on integrity as one of my core values, sometimes these quick agreements can come back to bite me because I’m not always able to fulfill my commitments OR I do so begrudgingly, more out of obligation than a sincere desire or interest.

Ugh.

I am putting a stop to this madness.

From now on, my yesses will be thoughtful yesses and anything that I am even slightly uncertain of will be a clear ‘No’ or ‘I will think about it’ but only if I sincerely intend to consider it further.

One of my recent ‘yesses’ was to an opportunity to compete in my local Toastmaster’s speech competition. I mean, I do want to be a paid speaker so I better get my reps in and take advantage of every opportunity, right?

Well, I followed my ‘yes’ with intense practice- literally to the point of being SICK and tired of hearing myself.

And even after all that practice, I still forgot my line 30 seconds into my speech (don’t worry, I was able to quickly recover and jump right back into my flow).

So annoying!!

In the past, I would’ve beat myself up for something like this.

But that’s not what happened.

Instead, I was like “what can I do so this doesn’t happen again?”

I was also proud of myself for even taking on such a challenge. I was like “Yes girl! You did good.”

Self-encouragement is my jam…and it’s powerful.

I recently read something in a book that really changed my perspective about what we normally view as failures. It explained that failure isn’t even a thing (unless you give up altogether) because every time you make a mistake, you learn something new. So, you’re always either winning or learning and learning is winning, so we’re always winning!

So good, right?

Let me tell you about my speech though.

Three weeks before the speech competition, a fellow Toastmaster asked what my speech was about. I told her I had NO idea and then I shared a little bit about my usual topics: Becoming More, Living a Bigger Life, etc.

She wasn’t having it.

She straight up told me those topics wouldn’t make the cut and that I needed something more compelling that had a great story.

Side note: I have truly come to love bold people like this woman who tell it like it is (but always with love).

That night, I was determined to figure it out.

And then it came to me: I would talk about living a legacy of love and use my mom as the source of inspiration.

It turned out so good.

In it, I share how my mom never had much in life and how she endured a great deal of pain and sorrow.

But through it all, she never once wavered in the love she showed to others. No matter what.

Her legacy of love is alive in me and everyone who knew her- it continues to blossom and multiply…what greater legacy could there be?

I didn’t win the competition.

But afterwards, several people came up to share with me that they were very moved  by my mom’s story and one woman even said “I was hoping you didn’t keep sharing the sad part because I started to cry and I felt like you were talking directly to me! I always compare myself to my successful friends who have these amazing careers and I’m just home raising my kids. But now I can look at it differently.”

Come on.

I may not have won the competition, but I won the best prize- impact.

If my voice and my stories can touch even one person, that is all I can ask.

This ‘Yes’ was one to be proud of.

So, what is one thing you are proudly saying YES to right now?

I hope it’s a fruitful and fulfilling yes.

Thanks for being here.

Nothing but love,

Barbara